I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
