I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
