i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
