is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
