I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
