i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
