The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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