Having a random hookup so left but love u
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
