Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
