Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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