i don't like sucking hair
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
