Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
