Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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