Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
