that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize