I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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