i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
