It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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