is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
