Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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