4 words: hood of his car
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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