Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
