So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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