but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize