Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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