I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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