Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
i need some magic done to my vagina
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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