If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
