watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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