don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
