toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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