How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
