I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
