No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
