so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
