I feel like I'm in dance class right now
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
