I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
