Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
