there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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