I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
