So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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