I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
This baby is an asshole
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
