Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
