He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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