Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
