yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
