Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
