Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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