so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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