There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
