come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
you will always have a special place in my vag
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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