evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize