Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize