The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
