I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize