Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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