Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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