Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
