there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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