I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
