If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
