OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
